i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize
