the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
