Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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