I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
