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i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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