i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I am naked and annoyed.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize