I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
