Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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