It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
