i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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