I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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