You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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