id be glad to
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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