How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
