Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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