your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
