my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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