I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
