I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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