you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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