if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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