lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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