alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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