I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Is it because I queefed?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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