The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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