that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
this boner is exhausting
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
