I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
