yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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