So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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