Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
