She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
