so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
