Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
