you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize