it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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