dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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