God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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