He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
