Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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