no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
then he tried to convert me to islam
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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