I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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