I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
