my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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