I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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