Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
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That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
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Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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