i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
