I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
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i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
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I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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