I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
