Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Small penises have feelings too.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
