dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
