Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
