There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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