I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
