We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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