I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
