Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
