Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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