We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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