Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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