Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
