ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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