I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize