You're a womanizer and a bitch.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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