But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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