take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize