I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
