the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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