I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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