I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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