I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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